Things that Annoy Me

1.  This street dog who thinks that the landing in front of my door is his private potty.

2.  People in the neighbourhood who insist on reversing their cars with horrible tunes at ungodly hours.

3.  People who think that their kids are God’s gift to humanity and don’t think it necessary to teach them some humility.

4.  Relatives who look me over as if I was something that the cat brought home.

5.  People who think that laptops are some new age radios and have never heard of ear-phones.

6.  People who flood my inbox with ‘invites’ to join Facebook or to view their photos.

7.  Passengers on trains who insist on talking loudly on their cell phones and if not, listening to ‘music’ without ear-phones.

8.  New Bombay train stations that don’t think it necessary to have indicators on the path leading up to the platforms and mostly, not even on the platforms.

9.  Idiots who thought of installing metal detectors blocking the smooth exit at the VT station. And even bigger idiots who write letters to the news-papers complaining that they are out of order, or if not, how the beeps go unchecked and the security is so lax.

10. Panvel auto-rickshaw drivers who think it is their birthright to fleece passengers; and the dumb people who don’t protest.

11. People who spit from their car widows, train windows, windows from the upper deck of a bus, while walking on crowded platforms, streets unmindful of people just behind/below them

12. Characters in TV serials who speak in faux-Gujju accent.

13. News readers on NDTV who think their drawl is oh! so fashionable.

14. Cookery programmes on TV by Indian chefs- I mean they actually succeed in making the act of cooking, that too Indian cooking, totally sterile and unexciting. As if that was not enough- there is always a dumb looking anchor who insists on repeating every explanation. And at this stage, if you think that they can’t do anything more to insult your intelligence- they give you a quick recap. Jeez.

15. Hindustan Times for believing that the traffic police’s job is to arrest pedestrians and not to control traffic.

16. Motorists who think that the roads were made for the sole purpose of double-parking.

17. People who are behind me in the queue at the bank counter, who can’t stand patiently in a single file, insisting on stepping on the side. Not that they want to jump the line or dare to. They just think that being closer to the window will make things faster.

18. Bollywood film makers who make dumb films just because the NRI audiences lap them up.

19. NRIs who write letters via e-mail to India Today and Outlook- lecturing all and sundry on how to run the country.

20. The Indian middle class who think that it is the mission of the rest of the world to prevent India from becoming a super-power.

PS. Inspired by a dear old friend.