Monday, November 30, 2009

Sign Language

The language row in Mumbai, the Hindi v/s Marathi argument, came to a head when MNS MLAs slapped Abu Azmi for taking his oath as a member of the Maharashtra Assembly in Hindi. This action was lauded by many Marathi speakers judging by comments on the websites of Marathi dailies. This by itself is not surprising given the sustained propaganda for over a year. What is surprising is the approval of many Tamil and Kannada bloggers- some partisan to begin with and some others who are otherwise normal, funny or learned suddenly discovering their brothers-in-arm Hindi haters. Are they, in trying to justify this, finding reason for their own stated or latent grouses?

What are the various arguments given by the ‘professors’ of Marathi against Hindi?

The foremost is Hindi hegemony or Hindi arrogance, that Hindiwallas expect others to learn Hindi by falsely claiming it as THE National Language. So they refuse to learn other languages. India is multi-lingual in character and Hindi is one more language among many. The Hindiwallahs expect the shopkeepers and auto-drivers in Chennai to speak in Hindi. Now, while most non-Hindi people have experienced this arrogance; let it be known that the Hindi arrogance is not exclusive to Hindiwallas. Equally, Gujaratis, Bangalis and indeed Marathis expect the auto-driver in Chennai to understand them in Hindi.

The other argument is that the local language should have primacy over the others, that all outsiders should respect it and learn it. Nothing wrong here, except that these bloggers who are writing from Bangalore/ Chennai/ and mostly USA don’t realize that when it comes to Mumbai, Marathi is NOT the only local language. If India is multi-lingual, then Mumbai is its microcosm. Traveling in Bombay’s local trains, you would hear many of these tongues.  The language of public communication and discourse is a mix of Hindi and English. This is how it has been always and most Mumbaikars don’t see what’s wrong with it. It is very common here to find two Gujaratis, two Malayalis or even two Marathis speak with each other in Hindi and English. In this sense, I feel that Bombay (unlike Delhi where it is local) is the only place where Hindi is spoken as the national language. Nobody has imposed Hindi here. Mumbai has no reason to despise it; after all it is the home of Hindi Film Industry. Many non-Marathis in Mumbai such as me are well versed in Marathi not because we ‘respect’ it, simply because we have friends and enjoy its cinema, theatre and culture. Many are not.

The Marathi v/s Hindi battle, linguistically, is artificial as they belong to the same family. Every urban Marathi perfectly understands Hindi and speaks it fairly well without having to specially learn it. Moreover, both are written in the Devanagari script, making them even more similar. This knowledge of Hindi is the Marathi man’s strength as he can do business with a number of other linguistic groups in the country.

It is ridiculous to compare Mumbai with Chennai or Marathi with Tamil. In the 1950s, probably there was validity in the anti-Hindi sentiments in the South. In 2009, such chauvinism is dated and self defeating. The shopkeeper or auto-driver in Chennai does not gain anything (only looses business) by pretending not to know Hindi. Mumbai can well do without the misplaced concerns of misguided 'Madrasis'.

As for the Marathi speakers, they might do well to remember that all of Bombay’s populations, including most Marathis, are migrants except for the Kolis and the Agris (fisherfolks and salt makers). Bombay’s mosaic of sub-cultures was formed well before it became the capital of Maharashtra. They should try to see through the propaganda by which their sentiments are exploited for political games.  Instead, they should devise innovative ways of making their earthy and rich language more popular and fashionable among non Marathi speakers. This should not be a tall order given inherent talents of Marathi writers, film makers and musicians.

As for the political goons, they only do disservice to Marathi when they violently try to foist it on people. It is so ironic, for instance, their insistence on Marathi sign boards. They forget that Marathi is written in Devnagri- same as Hindi. The train commuters witness this oddity on the station name boards daily. As can be seen below.

Friday, November 6, 2009

Things that Annoy Me

1.  This street dog who thinks that the landing in front of my door is his private potty.

2.  People in the neighbourhood who insist on reversing their cars with horrible tunes at ungodly hours.

3.  People who think that their kids are God’s gift to humanity and don’t think it necessary to teach them some humility.

4.  Relatives who look me over as if I was something that the cat brought home.

5.  People who think that laptops are some new age radios and have never heard of ear-phones.

6.  People who flood my inbox with ‘invites’ to join Facebook or to view their photos.

7.  Passengers on trains who insist on talking loudly on their cell phones and if not, listening to ‘music’ without ear-phones.

8.  New Bombay train stations that don’t think it necessary to have indicators on the path leading up to the platforms and mostly, not even on the platforms.

9.  Idiots who thought of installing metal detectors blocking the smooth exit at the VT station. And even bigger idiots who write letters to the news-papers complaining that they are out of order, or if not, how the beeps go unchecked and the security is so lax.

10. Panvel auto-rickshaw drivers who think it is their birthright to fleece passengers; and the dumb people who don’t protest.

11. People who spit from their car widows, train windows, windows from the upper deck of a bus, while walking on crowded platforms, streets unmindful of people just behind/below them

12. Characters in TV serials who speak in faux-Gujju accent.

13. News readers on NDTV who think their drawl is oh! so fashionable.

14. Cookery programmes on TV by Indian chefs- I mean they actually succeed in making the act of cooking, that too Indian cooking, totally sterile and unexciting. As if that was not enough- there is always a dumb looking anchor who insists on repeating every explanation. And at this stage, if you think that they can’t do anything more to insult your intelligence- they give you a quick recap. Jeez.

15. Hindustan Times for believing that the traffic police’s job is to arrest pedestrians and not to control traffic.

16. Motorists who think that the roads were made for the sole purpose of double-parking.

17. People who are behind me in the queue at the bank counter, who can’t stand patiently in a single file, insisting on stepping on the side. Not that they want to jump the line or dare to. They just think that being closer to the window will make things faster.

18. Bollywood film makers who make dumb films just because the NRI audiences lap them up.

19. NRIs who write letters via e-mail to India Today and Outlook- lecturing all and sundry on how to run the country.

20. The Indian middle class who think that it is the mission of the rest of the world to prevent India from becoming a super-power.